Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Heart of Gold


I am growing up now,
Waving goodbye
To the sunday picnics,
To the sweets galore,
To the bed-time stories,
To the thrill of swinging.
I am growing up now,
Ushering in
The quiet commitments,
The paperwork,
The hectic schedule,
The unwanted attractions.

Lost in the sands of time
Are my wild dreams
Of finding fairies
In the spring flowers.
The magic pot of gold
At the end of the rainbow,
Is no more my desire.
Now I maintain
My own life,
Away from home,
Away from my roots;
Making new, difficult decisions,
Making my own mistakes.
No more does my dilemma
Lie within choosing between
Chocolate cake or ice-cream for dessert.
Now I see
The orientation of petals
Than the beauty
Of the flower itself.

However...

Somewhere in the mesh of growth,
Interwoven with the hurtful experiences,
Lies an urge
To break all norms,
To usher in the fairies
That made nightmares
Magically disappear;
To welcome
The warmth of the sun,
To sit
Under the cool shade of the peepal trees,
Play silly games,
Just run around freely;
Without the shackles of routine,
Of commitments,
Binding me to a place,
I don't even call my own.

The paperwork may pile,
My commitments may continue to rise,
But, this world
I call my own,
This world that gives me
Strength and courage,
An unnatural faith in myself,
Will grow with me;
And preserve
The dreams of the child
Who is no more...
And preserve
The dreams of the child,
And its heart of gold.
-Me

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Graying Clouds

Saw you standing apart

In the clichéd crowd,

Marveled at the panache

With which you solved common problems.

Yet, now your energy reserve

Seems to deplete day by day.

Your style, your swagger,

Dampen as the clock ticks away.

Tall and bright that you were,

Now, you just remain morbid and silent:

Lost in a world

You want to call your own,

Refusing to realize

That it is not there where your heart lies.

Detaching yourself

From the promise of a great future,

Entering an unknown abyss.

Come back!

For your talent is too precious

To be drowned in wine.

Watch out!

For the road you are on

Only ends in a deadly cliff.

There is more to life

Than carving a path

That seems original only to you.

There is more to living

Than forming your own herd.

Don't give away

Innocence

At the cost of unwanted experience.

There is more to life,

There is more to you.

You are the promise

Made by the Heavens above

To the growth of mankind.

Don't sell away your genius

For a few pathetic moments

Of dazed bliss.

Apply your lessons, child!

Getting swept away

By the tide of wants

Is what everyone does.

Carve your original path, thus, kid,

Wade through the turbulence

Greed so infamously creates.

Here is where you prove your mettle,

Here is how you display your true potential.

Don't give up, yet,

There is more to life…

There is more to you.

-Me

_________________________________________________________________________________________________


To,

Pinnacles of originality,

You are a one of the very few people I look up to and am proud to know. Please don't change who you are for temporary happiness.

Cheers :)

From,

A caring martian.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

My Kin

You brought me

Into this world.

You taught me

The ways of life.

You gave me

A reason to live.

Then why

Did you turn against me,

My kin?

You were the omniscient

To my innocent mind,

My eternal guide.

Then why

Did you stray from me,

O creator?


Naïve I was

To have relied on you.

Clueless I was

To base my life

To live up

To your expectations.

Innocent I was

To let you

Convince me of having

Only the talents

You wanted me to develop.

Silly I was

To allow you

To guide me

Into complete misery.

Helpless I was

To stop you

From taking

The very life you gave me.


Help me understand...

Why strengthen pillars

Of emotions

When you intended

To break them anyway?

Show me the logic

Of giving life

Just to take it away.

Was it mere whim

Or was the purpose definite

When you chose

To misunderstand

And misinterpret

The words spoken

Or actions committed?


What am I supposed to do now?

Where am I to go

When I am in need of help?

Whom do I look to

When I need to show love

Or be loved?

Who will guide me

Or help me learn

When I make mistakes?

Who will appreciate

The hardwork I put

Into strengthening my emotions?

Who will praise

The struggle with which

I live through each moment of the day?

The empty void you created

Cannot easily be filled.


Do not teach me

The value of a promise

If you cannot respect it yourself.

Do not make me

Self reliant

If you don't want to give me freedom.

Do not teach me

The difference between right and wrong

And then pass off

Your wrong-doings as righteous.

Do not show me

How to be kind and considerate

When you yourself know no compassion.

Do not teach me loyalty

If you yourself cannot practice what you preach.


With this

My soul breaks free

From the shackles

You tied around it

Under the guise of responsibility.

Now,

My problems are mine.

My loyalty is

Towards my well-being.

You cannot cheat me

Any more into believing

That there exists

An emotional connection

Between us.

My freedom is all that matters.

The shattered shards

Of my faith in humanity

I now collect…

They need you to be fixed.

They will remain broken.

-Me

Monday, December 21, 2009

Deafening Silence

Have you ever had a day that did not start very well, a day that you hoped would soon end, a day that was completely hopeless? I am sure you must have had one such day, so have I! Here is my account of such a hopeless day that I would prefer not having again.

The summer holidays were going on. My aunt and uncle were visiting us with their three small children.

I was sleeping, having a very nice dream. Suddenly I felt as if a baby elephant was sitting on me. When I opened my eyes, I saw that my two cousin brothers were sitting on me. They were pretending to be horse riders and had made me their horse. They kept on shouting at the top of their voices:

“Idée up horsee, idée up!”

My brother, Samyak entered the room and started playing drums on the metallic cupboard. They were starting to get on my nerves. I told my self to remain calm.

I got up, making my cousins fall and went for brushing my teeth. When I turned on the knob of the tap, it started whistling in a very shrill manner. “Pssseeee…” it went. I quickly turned it off and decided to use a tumbler instead.

I had just come out of my bathroom when I heard a big Bang. I quickly ran out of the room and crashed with my three-year old cousin sister. She fell down and started crying.

“Ahh! Ah Ahh…!” she sounded like an ambulance.

At the very same moment, the pressure cooker whistle went off.

“Pssseeee…”

I could hear it clearly since I was near the kitchen.

A baby crying and a pressure cooker going off. Oh my God! It was so annoying and there was no sign of any adult. Just then the bell rang. “Tring, tring”. It sounded so shrill that it almost burst my delicate eardrums. I went and opened the door and…

CREAK! The door was creaking badly.

Somehow, I managed to tolerate the creaking of the door and opened it. Our maid had come. I allowed her in and closed the door with a big BANG.

My cousin was still crying and the pressure cooker still whistling. My brothers, including Samyak, entered the room. They were playing G.I.Joe. So, obviously they were making sounds of firing of guns and canons.

“BANG BANG! DHUSH! PSHEWW… BOOM!”

“Ahh! Ting ting ting ting!” went my cousins after Samyak’s round of firing.

My sister realised no one was paying attention to her crying so she got up and went to her mother, crying.

My bothers started sort of a rain dance to bring the rain. All they did was stamp on the ground.

THUD! THUD! THUD! They started shouting, “hoogla-boogla! Warara!”

I went to my room, not being able to stand the noise they were making. They followed me to my room and started their ‘rain-dance’ there.

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

Finally the morning turned into afternoon. My relatives were leaving that evening so the commotion increased. My mother had forgotten to lay the table as she was busy preparing their Tiffin. I put the spoons, forks and plates on the table, but the food still had not been laid out.

The children sat on their respective chairs and started clattering for food. This metallic noise was getting on my nerves. My mother quickly laid the food. As I sat down I noticed that the sky was growing grey.

“Your rain-dance has worked,” I said to my bothers, “I predict it will rain today.”

“HURRAY!” shouted my brothers.

The storm started blowing very fiercely. It was making the eaves rustle and the window panes rattle.

CRASH! Someone’s windowpane broke, outside, due to the strong gust of wind. My cousin sister broke glassware inside, which led to another round of chaos and excitement; for me: noise.

The afternoon passed just as the whole of morning had – noisy, full of commotion and chaos. Finally the big moment arrived: the moment of departure. Everyone left the house, except me. My mother brother had gone to drop my relatives to the station. With a last Bang of the door, they left.

It felt so quiet in the house, so abandoned, so empty, so nice. I felt so relaxed that I decided to finish the book I had been trying to read for the two long months.

I started playing the cassette of ‘Main Hoon Na’. I simply love all the songs of that film. It had started raining heavily by then. I switched on the lights of the living room, sat on the divan, took my book and started reading it.

No car honking loudly on the empty, wet streets, no ringing of the telephone or the doorbell, no glass breaking, no drumming on the metallic cupboard, no noisy cousins spoiling your holidays, just you and your book and your favourite song playing, that is what is paradise for me.

I was so overwhelmed by the peace and quite in the house that I could not concentrate on reading my book. So instead, I imagined a waterfall and greenery all around, with me swinging from tree to tree, singing sweet songs.

I imagined a nice shady tree, below which I lay on a hammock, sipping a glass of cool, refreshing lemonade and reading that never-ending book. I imagined myself as a bird, flying high, trying to touch the sky.

I imagined myself cycling through a forest, alone on a deserted road, with the cool wind blowing through my hair, not knowing where the road will end or if it even has an end. I imagined myself as a mermaid – the princess of the clear blue oceans. All waters were mine; the waves were my transport; the fishes— my servants— were at my disposal. I could swim here, and I could swim there, and I could swim wherever I wished.

I was in my huge castle playing with my friend fishes, singing lovely songs, when all of a sudden—

‘TRING! TRING! BANG! BANG! BANG!’ I woke up with a start making my book fall on the floor. The banging and ringing continued as I ran quickly to the door. This could only mean one thing: my mother had returned.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

To all,

Here is something I wrote in ninth, but still am proud of. Enjoy.

- A nostalgic martian

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

A Happy Soul

I am
One of the lucky few
Who realize
The extent
Of
Their stupid mistakes.
I am
One of the lucky few
Who earn
Another shot
At
Making gainful amends.
I am
One of the lucky few
Who aspire
For greatness galore,
And achieve it.
I am
One of the lucky few
Who have
Tapped
Into the greater understanding
Of attracting happiness.

I learnt today
The art of being me.
I earned today
A chance at being free.
I lived today,
I laughed today,
I rejoiced today,
For I gained today
An unknown power
To decide my future,
My fate, my destiny.

I gained control
Over a life
I had deemed fit to forget;
I became one
With my spirit.
Now
My soul is stronger;
It is free.
It is unbound by
Mere shackles
Of daily problems.
Now I see,
Now I feel,
Now I believe...
I believe in
The greater sense of happiness.

I am no more
Shallow or uncaring.
I am no more
A face in the crowd.
I have
Formed the identity
I had struggled
To gain control over.
I have
Succeeded in reaching
The pinnacle
Of my mental strength.

I no longer desire
To become a better person.
I no longer desire
For strength to carry my struggle forward.
I have been inspired
And in the process, transformed back,
Into my eternal self.
I shall persevere
The harshest of difficulties
And learn from them...
To grow mature
And expand my understanding
Of this world
That taught me the basics
To everyday survival.
It refreshed the memories
That have shaped me,
Into who I really am.
-Me
____________________________________________________________________
To,
Mr. Google (Rampy, that's you)
Here is the poem I promised. Its been a while since I wrote a poem, hence the poor quality of this piece. I assure you I will be back in the game as soon as I can. :)
Cheers,
A pre-occupied martian


Thursday, October 22, 2009

Shadows of the Past

Goodbye...
To the years of pain,
Goodbye...
To memories insane-
Goodbye…

I was immature
And naïve,
Thus the mistakes I made.
I was lonely,
Lost and forgotten,
Thus the company I gained.
In the mist of the misunderstanding
That you created
I fought,
And I fought hard with myself
Not only to regain
My lost faith
But also to regain
My life.

Abandoned and uncared for
I move on now.
Alive with renewed vigour
I move on now
From the dirty talks,
From the insane fights,
From unachievable dreams
And unimaginable goals.
The unworthy sights
Of a brighter future
I shall never dream of again;
The nightmares
Of loneliness and sorrow
Will never bother me
Anymore.
For the love
You made me lose
Could never exist
With only one support
To lean on.

So farewell,
Old times;
Farewell! For
You could never,
Never be mine.
-Me