The Other Side of Me

A dark alley,
With puddles of blood scattered.
A neon green light flickering,
And utter silence.
Yes, it is a dull, gloomy picture;
A picture most would stay away from.
But not I.
I live, grow, mature here.
I devour gloom.
I find solace in loneliness.
I make sure I die,
So that another life can live.
And in giving, I receive.
I know pain,
I know suffering,
I know what it feels,
To have no feelings at all.
I strive, to live through it all.
I stand, on my own,
Learning from the past.

There is good.
I refuse to believe there is not.
I will not bow,
To any insult or humiliation
Done to my sacrifices;
For I sacrifice for those
Who are worth.
I don't belong to the clouds,
Nor to the heavens above,
But to mere soil,
That too, deep within.
Nothing can change that,
No amount of pain or suffering, and
No amount of disappointment.

I was made to feel,
And feel I will,
For the countless hearts
That beat for joy,
For tears galore,
Wasted every second
By undeserving idiots,
For millions of smiles,
Lost in emptiness.

I refuse to be let down,
By someone else's mistakes.
Enough of ruining lives.
Now, I will make a worthy one,
That deserves, not pain,
No hardships nor sacrifices,
But love, happiness, joy,
And independence.

-Me

Simple Nonsense

Looking up at the sky,
Then looking back down at the ground.
My heart pumping fast,
Beating hard against my ribs.
I breathe, no, pant furiously,
I have been running.
For a really long time now.
Away from it all,
Chasing nothing,
Just running.
My muscles cramp,
They pain and complain,
And I run.
My eyes drenched in haze,
My clothes covered in sweat,
And I run.
I watch expectations fly by,
I can see myself change.
A cool breeze dampens my pace,
I loose my concentration.
My mind trails back to
Times of courage and confidence.
Days of belief and hope,
Summers of joy and laughter.
Then....I heave.
Air rushes back into me.
Adrenaline pumps again,
And I run.
Tired of being chased by
Nightmares created out of insecurities,
I turn around. And stop.
I see the blackness I fear.
I sense the chill.
I watch it engulf, then,
Destroy happiness and beauty.
The cool breeze still blows.
It blows my fatigue away.
I embrace the approaching black mist,
I walk through it.
I see nothing but darkness,
And hear only my own heart beating.
I feel only the warmth I spread.
I relax.
I take my time.
I get to know myself better.
Then...I, like the breeze,
As if wings have sprouted from my back,
Put all my might,
Into blowing the dark mist away.
Gaining ground with every flap...

Now, days ahead,
I overlook my abode,
From a height I never reached before,
My wings rest by my side.

-Me