Transcience

We chatted and played
Laughed and danced,
Discussed, in hushed voices,
Our plans to have fun.
We passed messages,
Following age-old customs.
We tested and tried,
The limits our
Friendship would reach.

Then I left,
To pursue ambitions
I had never heard of.
Then I left,
The place of my dreams,
To pursue goals
I did not want to achieve.
Then I left,
I left behind the people
I knew were my own.
The people who could
Touch my soul and not
Scratch it to make a mark.
The people who I,
Had helped and in turn,
Helped me cope with life.
The people I called my own.

Now gone are those days,
Those mornings,
Those bus rides,
Those huddled talks,
Those gatherings.
The chatter is lost
In the sands of time,
Degrained by pain
And made a blur forever.

I will miss
Those days,
I will miss
My friends.

-Me

Defined Randomness

Imagination runs freely,
And I wish I could stop it...
...Too freely for comfort;
Right from tulips in the meadows,
To the drowning girl in the sea.
And then...
A complete reversal of thoughts,
To the night,
And its radiant moon,
Bringing back old memories...
Some good, but mostly sad.
And then flashes confusion,
In one of its myriad forms,
Leaving a dazed state of mind.

My spine is cold,
My heart is numb,
My throat is dry,
My eyes, lost in thought,
In a field of emotions,
Ranging from hatred,
To regret, to anger, to pure mirth.
I cannot settle,
I will not settle.
And why should I?
I was not responsible,
For the endless pain you suffer,
I have not caused,
The trouble you face.
I am to be a friend in need,
Only if you let me,
For I am not the root,
Of all your insecurities.
My thoughts run wild,
For they can't be penned anymore.
My ideas go berserk,
Every time I invent one.
A sorrow, so deep,
That happiness seems miles away.
Why should I suffer,
When you get hurt?
Why should I cry,
To ease you of your pain?
Cruelty here, lies,
Only in your perception.
The world is good,
It always was.
Unlock yourself to see,
The bright future that awaits,
Unfurl your wings and fly...
To destinations never seen.
Reach out with your mind's eye,
And touch his heart,
Whose you could never win.

-Me

Only...

Only one dream,
Only one hope,
Only one desire,
To achieve...
What? The mind knows not.
A cluster of images,
Forming day by day,
Giving substance
To an endless wait.
Filling gaps and holes,
Covering up voids,
Only to someday,
Reveal them.

Only one regret,
Of only one loss,
For only one time,
And then, despair to be fought.
In a pool of tears,
Spreading around,
Flowing boundless,
With unnatural energy.
The effect too harsh,
And unfathomable consequences,
Only to, someday,
Be wiped forever.

Only one thought,
Only one path,
Only one life,
To live...
How? The heart knows not.
The very essence,
Of movement,
However slight,
Yet alive.
Struggling to move,
With emotions restraining,
Only to, someday,
Cease living.

-Me

Current State of Affairs

I sat by the window,
Staring out at the rain.
Feeling the greyness everywhere,
Outside and within me.
I have been like this,
For quite some time now.
No rays of hope shine,
I have not seen the sun,
For quite some time now.
All dreams came crashing down,
On my encountering REALITY.
A sad state it is indeed,
To have lost,
And to continue losing.
All my attempts,
All my efforts,
To regain the lost me,
To regenerate from the ashes,
Have failed miserably.
I am lost...
I climb to the top
Of a pile of boulders,
And look down upon
The world I prepare to leave behind.
I find clusters
of people.
Some big, some small,
But all distinct
In their own special way.
I look down,
All of them are there,
Enjoying the cool breeze
Of their own unique achievements.
I find them,
And locate them all,
Save one.
The one standing
Right beside me.
With his hand in mine,
And lips
Uttering a promise,
To never let go,
To be there for me,
Whenever I may need him.
Bringing colour back,
To my blank life.
Subtly and slowly,
Touching every nook,
Every corner,
With not rainbow pastels,
But mild hues.
Things have become
So moist,
By the endless tears I shed,
That the colour spreads fast.
Before I can catch up with it
It spreads itself,
Before I can catch up with it
Like fire in some wild forest.
Covering me completely,
Consuming me,
Occupying my soul.
One tiny part remains though,
It detaches itself.
No longer under influence,
It lives on free and independent.
It is adamant about it.
It is stubborn.
It is free.
It is happy.
That grey piece,
That blank grey piece,
Is me.

- Me